What to Expect When You’re NOT Expecting: Twins Edition

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Our road to getting pregnant for the second time was not an easy one. After getting pregnant with Willow so easily, I genuinely thought I would be pregnant with another baby in no time. After we decided as a couple that I would stop taking birth control, it was an exciting time and we couldn’t wait to see the positive sign on the pregnancy test! Little did we know and frustratingly, it wouldn’t be coming for quite some time.

 

Each month I would track my cycle with serious OCD, romantically text my husband that we had to get busy, and then subconsciously think I was pregnant and psych myself to tell the world I was with child… EVERY… SINGLE… TIME for 7 months straight. I was on an emotional roller coaster of anticipation and disappointment and eventually hit an all time low after my birthday.

 

I finally decided it was time to head to my OB in April. I figured that there was something wrong with me, and it turns out I was right – as most moms usually are. I had the labs of a premenopausal woman so my body was just not looking to get pregnant. Per my MD, my Estradiol was undetectable, my FSH was high and something was suppressing my ovaries. So to sum it up, at the ripe age of 33, I had California Raisins for ovaries and nobody knew why. I was devastated and all my doctor could attribute it to was the rise of environmental pollution which was an answer with little solace.  They told me to come back in another month for a redraw but again, like a bad record, each month my labs would look the same and getting my period was a constant reminder I had failed. This was not the scenario I wanted to be in and the emotional roller coaster continued.

 

To make matters worse, I wasn’t the only one eager to announce a new baby would be joining the family… I was constantly pained by complete strangers asking me when  baby #2 would be arriving. “I don’t know lady, when are you buying your 8th cat” was how I felt like responding.  These conversations continued to rehash my open wounds from the internal pain I felt over my empty womb. I started telling myself I had one amazing, beautiful daughter and that’s all we needed. Though this was the truth, I would hold back tears when Willow would ask me for a little brother or sister and I felt like I was letting her down. I was frustrated, embarrassed, and just plain sad.

 

My infertility consumed me, and I couldn’t see the way off the emotional roller coaster. With my labs heading in the same direction, I was open to trying anything. I even started acupuncture with an amazing woman, named Natalie who happened to specialize in infertility. I would go to weekly sessions with her, discuss my labs, and she started me on a serious regimen of natural supplements and vitamins. Natalie gave me a safe place to speak about my issue, and one day we decided together that I would go see a Reproductive Endocrinologist in which their sole purpose is to get people pregnant.

 

I met with the doctor and to my surprise she was enthusiastically upbeat. She looked at me, my medical history and my shitty labs, she then looked right back at me and said, “We are going to get you pregnant”. It was like a weight shifted off my shoulders, the heavens parted and I had just heard the voice of an angel. I couldn’t be any happier! The doctor explained that during my next period, I would start injecting fertility drugs that would help control my ovulation in preparation for an IUI. I finally had a plan, and was beyond ecstatic.

 

So naturally, I went back to stalking my cycle and patiently awaited Aunt Flo. Except, Aunt Flo never made it. I was one day late, and thought well isn’t that just odd. Just to amuse myself, I decided to take a pregnancy test, completely expecting it to be negative – no pun intended. However, I was greeted with a positive sign instead. I was in shock and didn’t believe it. Surely, this was an ironic mishap of a pregnancy test. I took 6 pregnancy tests that day and I’m not sure any of them would have made me believe it.

We were beyond excited to confirm with a blood test that indeed we were pregnant. How crazy was it that on the heels of deciding to turn to a last ditch effort but before actually starting the treatment I was with child?!

 

The pregnancy itself was such a surprise but we didn’t realize how much of a surprise we were in for until my first ultrasound, this was when we found out just how “pregnant” we were.

 

The visit went something like this:

 

Doctor: “Um, did you take any of the drugs?”.  

 

Me: No!

 

Doctor: Well, this is a surprise, there are two heartbeats.

 

Aj: Yeah, like the baby’s and Abby’s?

 

Doctor: No, as in there are two babies!

 

Me: Shut the F**k up!

 

Aj: What…

 

And then there were two…

Photo Credit: Kate Hauschka Photography

Obviously we are elated to be welcoming two new additions to our family this year. If you asked me how we did it without fertility drugs, I don’t have a clue. I do know that once I felt comfortable with a plan from my acupuncturist and doctor that I felt less stressed and happy to be making some kind of progress. I think I stopped over thinking my own body’s downfalls thus far, and actually gave myself a break for once. I spent more time on myself, and focused on other important things in my life that made me happy. As we always said in nursing, your body follows your mind, so get your mind right.

 

A note on infertility: I know our personal struggle with infertility for over a year may not be relevant to your own journey. I share this with you so that you know you are not alone. I also share this with everyone else who doesn’t understand infertility because they never had to go through it. Stop asking when someone may be having a baby or second child. Sometimes what you think are words of encouragement aren’t, and just listening can be helpful. It’s better to give support than advice or suggestions.

Skincare Tips for Seasonal Change

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This time of year is fun for so many reasons! Pumpkin flavored everything, sweater weather (not so much in Los Angeles yet), and gearing up for the holidays BUT cooler temps tend to wreak havoc on our skin. I’m here to bring you some skincare tips that I’ve learned throughout my years as a dermatology nurse that will save your skin from dry cool weather and indoor heaters without having to completely change your usual routine.

 

Tips

 

Tip #1: Apply moisturizer, retinols, and benzoyl peroxides to a moist face. This helps the products lock in extra moisture to your skin. The key during these cool months is keeping skin hydrated so try and keep all the hydration you can! This may want you to slather on extra creams but also be mindful that too much can cause breakouts or make existing breakouts worse.

 

Tip #2: Decrease frequency of retinol creams and other drying products. If these are usually part of your daily routine, maybe start applying every other day to give your skin some extra time to recover and retain moisture.

 

Avène Eau Thermale & Avène XeraCalm

Tip #3: Don’t forget to apply moisturizer to your body! We’re all guilty of rushing out of the shower into our work clothes because hit the snooze button one too many times but we cannot skimp on taking care of our bodies! This will prevent itchy dry patches and dermatitis. (Pro tip: I really like Avene’s thermal spring water spray to stay hydrated and XeraCalm on dry skin)

 

Tip #4: Keep wearing sunscreen! Just because we don’t get the sunshine does not mean we are protected from skin damaging rays. Cloudy weather can even intensify the worst rays for our skin so it’s even more important to not leave out SPF from our morning skin rituals.

 

Tip #5: We’ve all heard it before… stay hydrated! It’s easy during colder months to forget our 8 glasses of water (and maybe replace them with an extra cup of coffee) but keeping our water bottle count is just as important now than it was during the summer. (Pro tip: herbal teas are a great way to stay warm & hydrated!) When it’s warm, we may sweat more but that also causes our bodies to produce more oil which keeps skin hydrated. Since we produce less oil during the winter, we should be extra mindful of water intake.

 

Tip #6: During the winter skin peels produce faster results. Since the air and our skin is drier, skin reacts faster to peels. One whole day could be knocked off the peeling time frame so it’s good to keep this mind when scheduling these appointments. 

 

Tip #7: Eat pumpkin. Seriously! Our October porch decor is actually super rich in antioxidants that are incredible for our skin. Carotenoids are abundant in those jack-o-lanterns and this antioxidant is a powerhouse in protecting our skin from UV damage and other skin related disorders. Pumpkin is also filled with Vitamin C, B, Magnesium, and Beta-Carotenes.  

#AskAbby: How to keep your family organized?

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Most moms can relate to always being short on time and don’t need a reminder to it’s importance. Since AJ is often on set, I’m the family task manager and the one making sure everything and everyone is where they need to be. I’ve found a few “best practices” that have been my saving grace in keeping the family organized, and my sanity!

 

Tools

 

  1. Planner: I may be old school with my physical planner/calendar and yes I know that I can move everything to a digital one.  Yet, I’ve found that writing things down by hand in my planner as soon as I hear them has been key to staying on top of daily tasks and other things that may pop up.
  2. Color coding: As a nurse, EVERYTHING is color coded at work! I’ve carried this over to my home and it has been equally as useful. I even used to carry around a 4 color pen! In my planner, I’ll use different colors for notes pertaining to different people/categories of notes.
  3. Post-It Notes: (Also color coded!) These are all over my house! I use sticky notes for things that NEED to be done that day, I’ll write them down and then stick them on the back of my phone so there’s no way the task will escape me. No excuses with this method 😉
  4. Shared Google Calendars: My one “with the times” best practice! I LOVE this feature on Gmail. I have AJ’s calendar shared to mine and vice versa so we are always in the loop with each other. Plus, Willow has her own within my account so I know who has to be where and when. I love how everything auto-populates and there are so many different customization settings that would work for anyone’s needs.

 

Habits

 

  1. Putting daily items back where they belong: I’ve found this to be so helpful so I’m not wasting time during the day looking items I need. Whether it’s as simple as putting the keys back by the door or a mug next to the coffee pot to putting AJ’s eye mask back on the bedside table… I’d rather put these items back where they will be needed than be asked for help looking for them later 😉
  2. I coordinate all of Willow’s activities at the same time: I do my best to sign up all of Willow’s extracurriculars for the same time slot during the day so that even as her activities change, our routine doesn’t.
  3. Doing “fast tasks” immediately: Whether it’s opening the mail and paying bills right then and there or responding to an email… anything that can be done right away and in a few minutes should be. If I don’t do these tasks right away, I mentally file them away and forget to do them by the time they are due.
  4. Daily check in: This tends to be unscheduled but I always make sure to take a moment to review what needs to be done for the rest of the day/week. This moment also simply helps me to feel more organized.
  5. Planning a month in advance: I always made fun of friends who would do this but now as a mom I TOTALLY get it and practice it!! Maintaining friendships is extremely important to me so I make sure to actively reach out and suggest a date ( a month out) that works for me.
  6. Not being afraid to ask for help: I love my role and everything I do for the family but sometimes help is needed. I’m so lucky I have the ability to get help whether it’s hiring a sitter for Willow when I need to go to meetings or even have my mom coming to visit and lending a hand. Doing it all doesn’t have to mean doing it alone.

The Chic Mamas Collection Is Finally Here

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I have been working on this t-shirt line for quite some time! I meant to release it much earlier, but I was a little down for the count in my first trimester. I designed these shirts with all of you Mamas in mind. I hope you like them!!! Shop them HERE and see each style below!

 

Moon Kissed and Star Lit $28

 

Strut Like A Mutha $26

 

All The Feels $28

Photo Credit: Kate Hauschka 

How To Make Almond Milk At Home

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We stopped drinking dairy milk in our household quite some time ago. In our family we found that dairy wasn’t so easy on the tummies, so we incorporated almond milk into our diets. I usually bought the in-store almond milk, but always wanted to try to make my own. So with a little trial and error I ended up with an easy recipe that the whole family loved.  Its simple and quick, plus it is a great activity to do with the kids.

Ingredients:

1 cup almonds

2 cups water (if you like a thinner consistency add more water, for thicker consistency add less)

1 tbsp agave

1 tsp vanilla extract

Equipment:

Blender

Bowls

Cheese Cloth

Strainer

Measuring Cup

Measuring Spoons

Instructions:

Pour one cup of almonds in a bowl, cover with water. Cover the almonds with a cloth and soak the almonds overnight or for at least 8 hours.

Drain and rinse the almonds under cool water.

Add almonds to blender (I use a Vitamix) along with water.

Add agave and vanilla extract.

Blend on high for 2 minutes.

Pour the almond milk through a cheese cloth into a bowl.

Press the almond milk from the almond meal inside the cheese cloth. You should get about two cups of almond milk.

Bottle almond milk, refrigerate for up to two days and enjoy!

Photo Credit: Kate Hauschka

Where To Spray Your Perfume (Hint: It’s Not Where You Think)

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Where do you spray your perfume everyday?

I would bet money that most of you would answer, my neck, chest and behind the ears. Unfortunately most of you beauties will end up in a dermatologist office due to this practice alone!

Why you ask? Well most perfumes contain alcohol, and when applied to sun exposed skin causes a photosensitivity to occur in direct sunlight. Thus increasing your chances of sunburn, which can lead to a list of problems. Such as hyper-pigmentation,  wrinkles,  Poikiloderma (google it, it is not pretty) and even skin cancer.

I take great care to avoid sun exposed areas when applying my perfume and so should you! I like to apply it under my clothes and I also do a spritz in the ends of my hair. Be careful not to spray too much in your hair, as the alcohol in the fragrance can also leave you with dry ends!

 

Shop My Favorite Fragrances Below:

Photo Credit: Kate Hauschka

Labor Day Sales!

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Happy Labor Day! I hope everyone is enjoying a long weekend and relaxing with loved ones. Labor Day weekend calls for the end of summer and it wouldn’t be complete without some major sales!! There is still time to shop and I found some great sites offering fantastic discounts. See my favorite picks below.

Style

True Religion

Henri Bendel

Solstice Sunglasses

Joe’s Jeans

Abercrombie & Fitch

Cotton On

Home

Dormify

Lulu and Georgia

Overstock.com

Target

Photo Credit: Kate Hauschka 

Tuesday Trend: Neon Hues

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From sunglasses, to dresses and even pillows the neon trend has been going strong all summer long. In shades such as pink, blue, yellow and green it has no signs of slowing down. I even noticed Victoria Beckham’s line with neon pink sweaters for fall. So what is the right way to wear a bold trend like this? I’m not a fan of throwing my style to the wind and adapting to a new trend to fill my closet. We all know there are many that will not work and they always come and go. Take the 90’s trend for instance, I know I will never look good in that crop top. So you have to pick and choose how you make the trend adapt to your style. If you don’t feel comfortable wearing a full neon dress, just add some neon to your accessories such as earrings or a bag.

I always love finding on trend pieces for bargain prices, so that I won’t be upset if it goes out of style by next summer. I snagged this dress from Target for under $30! Have you tried neon this summer?

Shop The Look

 

Stay On Trend With These Neon Items

Photo Credit: Kate Hauschka

 

Travel Tuesday: New Orleans, Louisiana

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This past April I got to take a fun trip down to New Orleans, and it is finally making it to the blog. New Orleans is known for Mardi Gras and Bourbon street but it is also rich in history, cuisine and culture. I was able to take Willow with me and there is tons of kid-friendly places to help entertain little ones as well. We stayed in the heart of the city at the Windsor Court Hotel (which I highly recommend). It is walking distance to many places including the Aquarium, bar, restaurants and the River Walk. Here are some great activities to see and do while you are in The Big Easy.

Dress and Shoes: c/o William B Friends

  1. Grab a Trolley Car on Canal Street 

This is fun for the whole family! Grab a Trolley Car starting at the end of Canal Street and take it 7 miles to the New Orleans Museum of Art. The passes are only $1.25 (yes you heard me right). They are so sweet about accommodating strollers for the kiddos too. You get to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

 2. Audobon Aquarium of the Americas 

This Aquarium is truly amazing, and you feel like you are submerged beneath the sea with their walk-through tunnels full of sharks, rays and sea turtles. They have live feeding times, with educational sessions explaining all the sea creatures in the aquarium. Willow even got to touch the sting rays!

Quick Tip: If you arrive and the line is long, sneak over to the theater and buy them there. Just a little secret to get the fun started!

Dress and Shoes: c/0 William B Friends    

   3. Stroll The Riverwalk

The Riverwalk is located right next to the Mississippi River, and offers many activities. Including steamboat rides, a full marketplace mall for amazing shopping and many restaurants.

Quick Tip: We stopped by the Crazy Lobster for a moscow mule. The laws in New Orleans actually allow you to take your drink in a to go cup and walk around in public. The only stipulation is that it must be in a plastic glass! Enjoy!!

Shirt, Jeans, Shoes: c/0 William B Friends

4. Beignets

Beignets are a must when in The Big Easy. They are these delicious little squares of dough, that are fried and covered in powder sugar. No joke…this was my first stop when I got to New Orleans. But the real question is Cafe Du Monde or Cafe Beignet. Cafe Du Monde is a historic staple for beignets, opening its doors in 1862 and usually always has a line out the door. The other option, that is also extremely satisfying is the Cafe Beignet. They have three locations, that boast an old school diner vibe, and usually there is no line.

Jeans, Shirt, Tank Top, Jeans, Shoes: c/o William B Friends 

5.  House of Blues

With concerts, live music and burlesque shows scheduled Tuesday through Saturday, you can’t go wrong with a night out at the House of Blues. It hosts some of the cities best live music performances and they even have a Gospel Bruch on Sundays!

 

Honestly this list could have been filled with over 100 restaurants, and activities but that wouldn’t even scratch the surface of things to do in this beautiful city! I hope this little cheat sheet helps you plan your next trip to New Orleans. Where are you traveling to this summer??

 

Thank you to Windsor Court Hotel and William B Friends. 

Photography by Kellie Binnings

Mom Guilt: Why We Really Need To Let Go Of The Shame and Start Living Our Lives

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Hey Ya’ll I am back. Sorry there was a short hiatus here, but I have been working on a couple of things for all of you. One of them being this new series which you can follow over on my Instagram. Motherhood, it is an amazing journey filled with endless love. Yet, there are many aspects of Motherhood that people just really try not to talk about. We all have many, as I like to call them, “not so chic moments” of Motherhood. One of them being, Mom guilt.

 

Mom guilt as I like to call it, has many…many forms.

You leave your kids to go to work and make a living… you feel guilty.

You go out to see your girlfriends once a month… you feel guilty.

You tell your child the cookies are gone and you secretly ate them in the bathroom, well because you needed that cookie and some alone time… you feel guilty.

Oh and the above image is when my child decided to one up me and put herself in time out. Guess what?? It seriously gave me Mom guilt because I started to think I put her in time out too much!

Okay, that last one is a true story…guilty as charged over here, but is anyone else tired of the Mom guilt? I think we can be honest that we all don’t love every single minute of Motherhood. We aren’t robots and we most definitely are not perfect. So I am starting this little series in which every Monday I will share on my Instagram and blog a favorite Mom guilt from the last week. I hope this sparks conversation for us in which we can talk about it, laugh about it and for goodness sakes start living a little without it?

Have you had any Mom Guilt Moments?